So I've just turned 32 & I finally get it. It took 32 years to get here but I've made it.
Made it to acceptance, to letting go, to being unapologetically me.
I look back & see so many times where I did things because it was the right thing to do, to save face, not to offend someone or just because of expectations. Most of these times were when I had my very first newborn. What I needed was my own time & space to make peace with the new Mum life. But instead I felt thrown out into a social life before I was ready & while I was dealing with a very unsettled reflux baby & my own anxieties that came with that whole reflux experience.
I also struggled with body image after my first baby was born. I didn't go to my husband's work Christmas party because I didn't feel comfortable in any of my clothes.
Clothes never fit the same as they did before having babies. And that's ok. Cause I'm not the same!
This body has carried then breastfed 3 babies. Having those 3 babies has wreaked havoc on my whole abdominal area resulting in many abdo. surgeries & complications as a result. But that's ok! I live with & manage arising issues best I can.
Now that I'm 32 I've lived with my Handl syndrome for well over a year. It still could one day resolve itself but I've accepted that it may be here to stay.
So I'm honest & open about it & am very selective of things I'll push myself for. I'm careful with commitments & try not to take too much on. Even things such as: docs, dentist, optometrist appointments. I am only up for one appointment. in a day. Just the one outing then I'll still be Ok to do the kinder & school pickup, home for rush hour which is really 2 hours then as long as it takes to settle all 3 kiddies to bed.
I have pulled back from people. Too many people & social expectations have been very overwhelming for me in the past. So I just don't do it anymore. I keep a small, tight network of good friends & any outer extensions I've taken a step back from. I still love & care for them, but don't feel guilty for backing away to focus on myself, my family & our wellbeing.
It's way too exhausting for me to have a normal full day of mumming then take all 3 kids out on a school night to a social gathering. We all end up tired & cranky & no-one really enjoys it.
Understand these are just the trenches were in for now. I know this phase will pass & a family night out will one day be a cruisy venture. But for now we're not quite there.
The ones who matter don't mind. And the ones who mind don't matter.
At 32 I'm now regularly taking time out for myself. Leaving hubby home with the crew & treating myself to a facial, coffee catch up with GFs or a lunch & movie day out with Mum. I love my date nights with hubby when we can get a babysitter. And this month I booked our family a little road trip getaway just for fun!
When I’ve had a chance to recharge I feel great. I feel better so can be better at all I do for my little crew. There is not always the time or opportunity to take some time out away from the house so here are a couple of things I like to do for ME TIME:
· Shower first thing in the morning. With essential oils. Before I get stuck into the mad morning rush I take 5-10mins. to be alone, enjoy my favourite aromas & get off to a positive start
· Face Mask or any mini at home pamper
· Read a book. Dive into a story to escape the chaos around me for a little while
· Leave Daddy in charge of the kids. I’ll leave them to play with hubby while I go off & run their bath for example or turndown the beds getting ready for bedtime. After a full day of rushing, noise & chaos I appreciate being on my own while the kids are occupied with their Daddy
· Blog & write. Writing is very therapeutic & something I enjoy. I’ll take the laptop to bed so I can relax & type away once the crew are all asleep
· Trashy TV & wine! Glass of wine in bed while I watch some junk is my guilty pleasure
What do you like to do for yourself? How do you recharge? Do you take the time for ME time? Drop a comment below, email firstname.lastname@example.org or reach out via my socials you know I am always up for a chat!
Turning 32 has been amazing. I am so content within myself. I feel 32 will be a wonderful year for myself & my family.
We've started the build of our new home, if you'd like to follow that journey head on over to https://www.instagram.com/theletranhome/?hl=zh-tw
Take care of yourselves Mama’s. Chat soon.