From May to June what the hell is going on. My family was hit with an incredibly bad run of luck & it really didn’t settle down til late July!
Hubby had been feeling off for weeks & finally by mid May he decided to take himself to hospital. Sunday night 10pm he hopped in a taxi to get himself checked out & hopefully sorted. Unbeknown to us he wouldn’t come home for 10 days.
He stayed in for so long. He needed so many tests. The waiting for results was brutal. The unknown is so scary & my mind was going places it’d never been.
Amongst all the tests & waiting, all 3 of our little babes missing Daddy I was trying to keep to their normal routine so that for them life was going on as per usual.
3 little ones solo was full on! I missed Manny so much & appreciated him more than ever before. And honestly felt like an ass for taking him for granted.
I was worried, exhausted, busy & just in survival mode. Thankfully I had help & support. I don’t know how I would have managed doing it all with 3 babes & making daily trips to the hospital without it. Once it became clear hubby would be staying in for a fair few days my parents took turns sleeping over so that I wasn’t on my own overnight. My 3 & 5 year old took turns having “sleepovers” in bed with their Nanna or Nonno & I slept easier knowing they weren’t alone.
Ugh alone. I hated leaving Manny alone. It broke my heart saying goodbye at the end of every visit. I hated that I couldn’t be there more with him, for him. He had some really horrible times on his own in there. The most gut wrenching was when he was alone & his Doctor told him they were looking for cancer. (Oh shit I have to actually pause typing here & slow my breath). When we spoke on the phone & I heard his voice I knew he was upset & something was wrong. It was after 7pm so 2 babes were sound asleep just the baby awake, so she came with me. We raced down to the hospital to be together. I let myself cry the whole drive so that I’d keep it together once I got there. Failed miserably! I lost it as soon as I saw his face. He looked so unwell & deeply sad. We took time to be sad together then I had to get baby Stevie home to bed. Going home & leaving him that time was the worst of all. Broke my heart it really did.
The next couple of days that followed were awful. Manny was so worried & feeling very down. I’m sure there were times when he felt desperately alone in that hospital.
Up until now I had felt pretty numb about everything & was just surviving day by day keeping busy with the kids. But at this point I had to feel, I had to just give in to it & let myself feel. But I also needed food. Kids eat so much food. So I did my grocery shopping in big, dark sunnies. I took my time. Walked down every isle to get what I needed & I let myself cry. I shopped & I cried. I knew I looked like a complete nutbag but I didn’t care. This was my therapeutic moment to cry & release the worry while also planning to feed my family. It was a moment I needed to have for myself.
Finally the results come in & he is all clear! Tears of joy & waves of relief overwhelm us. It had felt as though we were holding our breath for days & could finally breathe again. I felt so blessed that he was one of the lucky ones who get that all clear.
By day 10 in hospital all the test results had come back & it was now confirmed he was battling a terrible virus with a secondary infection. He got the OK to come home to rest & recover with his crazy little family.
We hoped the nightmare was over & had planned on taking time, working from home while Manny recovered. But I had a niggly pain in the general vicinity of the appendix. I didn’t worry about if for a few days, surely it was just a mysterious sore spot that would vanish just as quick as it appeared. On a Thursday I woke feeling sick & the pain was bothering me a bit more. As I often do I decided to go for a walk & grab a coffee. It usually helps when I feel a bit crap. Exercise, caffeine, chatting with locals always snaps me out of it. Not this time! By the end of the walk the pain was so sharp I knew I needed to pop down to the GP.
I had to call in Mum & Manny to take over kinder & school run while juggling baby Stevie. Got myself to the GP who sent me straight off for an urgent ultrasound. (Ohh shit) Now I’m actually worried this could be appendicitis. Nothing shows up on the scan so I spend the night at home advised to head to hospital if the pain increases.
Oh my God did it increase or what. I didn’t sleep a wink the pain was excruciating & now moving around my side, through to my back. What the hell is going on! I wait til morning & again Mum gets a call from her pain in the ass daughter. (Poor Mum)
She takes me to hospital & I spend the night. Tests & scans are not showing anything obvious so the surgeon assumes an ovarian cyst has burst. Ok, not too bad I suppose. I get the all clear to go home on Saturday with pain relief so I do.
By Sunday I am in a BAD way. This is not right. I want to see someone I trust to help me figure out what is going on.
My OB/Gyno. The man who has known me for 6 years, delivered all 3 of my babes & done my hysterectomy. If a cyst has burst in there he will know. I call him up first thing Monday morning & beg to be seen. Of course he sees me & is horrified when I hobble in. By now I’m bent over in agony & even breathing is painful.
I’m sent off for another urgent ultrasound. This time at a specialist women’s ultrasound clinic. They squeeze me in & perform my scan. The doctor is called in mid scan & I know they’ve found something. I can actually see it on the screen myself it’s like a mini tornado. Something is twisted that shouldn’t be. They are pretty sure it’s a fallopian tube.
It needs to be resolved urgently & the only way to do so is surgery.
I have super strong pain relief so I’m off my face! Can’t believe this is all happening. My hubby is at home recovering from his unexpected illness. He’s been home all of 5 minutes & now I need surgery. Holy shit! I’m a bit panicked as to how we are going to manage all this but there’s no time to plan, it’s happening.
I’m a bit of a complicated case so the following day I see a top laparoscopic gyno surgeon. I see him in the afternoon & by then I have gone downhill so badly I couldn’t wait another day. Emergency surgery was done around 8:30pm Tuesday night.
Turned out I had a twisted bowel & both fallopian tubes needed to be removed. Yikes! Not at all what I was expecting but Ok then.
Let’s skip over Tuesday night. I will just say it was the most horrendous post op. experience of my life & the nastiest nurse I have ever encountered.
Wednesday morning the nurses were ready to boot me out but I was feeling too sick to make the 60minute car trip home. My post op shoulder & collar bone pain were unbearable. (One of the side effects to laparoscopic surgery). So I spent Wednesday night in & came home on Thursday. I was still feeling awful but was so desperate to get out of there Manny & Savanah came to pick me up.
The. Drive. Home. Was. Hell. I was crying by the time we finally made it. But we made it. I was now home & so grateful to be back in my own bed surrounded by family. Or so I thought…
I mean seriously what could come at us next?
Pneumonia that’s what.
Manny was hit with pneumonia & ended up back in hospital for a few days. Great timing mate! Poor thing I really felt for him. I was feeling crappy but it was just post op. pain I wasn’t unwell. This guy is only just home from his own hellish ordeal then I’m off on my ghastly adventure. I return home to recover & he’s off to hospital again! FFS
May has rolled into June & hubby & I are taking turns having our own hospital stays. It was awful. I was fresh out of surgery, home with my 3 babes & forced to have my parents take turns sleeping over to help me manage.
While Manny is in hospital & I’m recovering we miss our nieces 1st birthday/Baptism which turned out to also be my sister-in-law’s SURPRISE WEDDING DAY! (Mumma of our niece) We missed the most special family function of the decade. 1st birthday/Baptism/surprise wedding. We were devestated! *insert sobbing here & organizing a Moet hamper at lightning speed*
What an incredibly bad run of luck. In our home we now have assorted candles, crystals, horse shoe & evil eye pendant. Not to mention the rosary beads in the kid’s rooms, essential oils diffusing constantly & I have taken to wearing my genuine Baltic amber necklace daily, even to bed every night. I have well & truly got all bases covered to ward off any negative energy that may try to come our way.
We spend July getting our shit together basically. Catching up on life, recoveries & getting family life back to “normal”. We’ve continued to work as much as possible & keep up with the kid’s routines. (Exhausting)
There’s a new found love between Manny & I now. For a while there it felt like we may have lost each other. But the love is strong & always brings us back. Our 3 babes were our strength through it all not to mention the overwhelming love & support we received. From family, friends & even people reaching out via my socials. The amount of messages I received was unbelievable. I feel like the most normal, average person but you guys made me feel so special. It was so nice & very surprising.
I can never thank you enough for the support. The patience & understanding when I needed it most & the flow of kinds words you sent me means more than you know.
This was a difficult blog to sit down to write & took me quite a few attempts. Mostly because of the sadness it brings up. I’m not at all sad now that the ordeal is over. But revisiting the emotions is always a tough thing for me.
Thank you for bearing with me while I took the time I needed. Some of you did ask when the next blog would be posted so here it is! Enjoy the read, feel the feels & stop by again soon.
As always I love it when you reach out so please do! Facebook, instagram or email. I love to hear from you guys & especially love the photos you share.Thank you for reading.